Journals13
Newest
the self esteem
3 min read
Slowly getting the "work area" together. Still tinkering around with the tool and the bits and such.. Also getting a sense of the time commitment involved. Will need to also find my ear muffs wherever they are...
Trying to not lose my self confidence. I get excited about a lot of writing and artistic projects until I suddenly remember that I don't have the skills anywhere near what I want. It isn't even that the skills are outside of reach, but more lacking the mental discipline to use get to that level of skill. Drawing was always something fun to me, and once I reached a certain point the only way to improve was more like work.
When I was a kid, I liked drawing only monsters, dragons, dinosaurs, and occasionally birds. So, that is all I drew. Drawing people, buildings, landscapes and such wasn't fun so I didn't draw them. And since I only learned to draw from copying the drawings and sometimes photographs of others, there is an enormous pile of skills I never developed. So, even though I thought I was a good artist as a kid, and indeed other people seeing my dragons certainly thought so, the reality was I could never do a single artistic thing that was asked of me. And honestly, I could never do anything artistic that I asked of myself. I put my pen or pencil to the paper and just let it flow from there, thoughtlessly and without preplanning. So when someone would say "draw X" or if even I wanted to draw X... What would come out would be terrible.
And somehow I no longer have those hours of dedication in me like I had as a child. But I need that level of commitment again. I need to just go outside and draw things I see for hours and hours and hours. But it is difficult, like trying to figure out exercise or a musical instrument. Where to start? What is the most effective use of the time for effective improvement? And often, I just can't seem to make some things work no matter what I do... Like painting.
I know that I am capable of these things, in fact, my time learning CAD and CAM showed me that for a lot of my problems in art I could solve simply by approaching what I want to make as a work problem, not a fun thing. Which is sad because, like learning an instrument or a language or writing a book, I want the end result and lost the ability to find pleasure in the process somewhere along the way.
How do I get that back? I lost it somewhere in high school...
Trying to not lose my self confidence. I get excited about a lot of writing and artistic projects until I suddenly remember that I don't have the skills anywhere near what I want. It isn't even that the skills are outside of reach, but more lacking the mental discipline to use get to that level of skill. Drawing was always something fun to me, and once I reached a certain point the only way to improve was more like work.
When I was a kid, I liked drawing only monsters, dragons, dinosaurs, and occasionally birds. So, that is all I drew. Drawing people, buildings, landscapes and such wasn't fun so I didn't draw them. And since I only learned to draw from copying the drawings and sometimes photographs of others, there is an enormous pile of skills I never developed. So, even though I thought I was a good artist as a kid, and indeed other people seeing my dragons certainly thought so, the reality was I could never do a single artistic thing that was asked of me. And honestly, I could never do anything artistic that I asked of myself. I put my pen or pencil to the paper and just let it flow from there, thoughtlessly and without preplanning. So when someone would say "draw X" or if even I wanted to draw X... What would come out would be terrible.
And somehow I no longer have those hours of dedication in me like I had as a child. But I need that level of commitment again. I need to just go outside and draw things I see for hours and hours and hours. But it is difficult, like trying to figure out exercise or a musical instrument. Where to start? What is the most effective use of the time for effective improvement? And often, I just can't seem to make some things work no matter what I do... Like painting.
I know that I am capable of these things, in fact, my time learning CAD and CAM showed me that for a lot of my problems in art I could solve simply by approaching what I want to make as a work problem, not a fun thing. Which is sad because, like learning an instrument or a language or writing a book, I want the end result and lost the ability to find pleasure in the process somewhere along the way.
How do I get that back? I lost it somewhere in high school...
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
I'm baaaaack...
1 min read
The AutoDesk app's integration and the android app have convinced me to return. And finally update my name here.
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
Confession
1 min read
I hate when people do polls on this site. I either find them offensive, or annoyingly designed so I can't ever give my answer... and otherwise just annoying. I don't know why. Polls almost everywhere I'm kinda neutral about, but something about DA polls just sparks rage in me.
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
Llama badges?
1 min read
I am confused.
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
Loooolops
1 min read
Whoops, I made a duplicate submission. Guess that means I'm getting old.
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In